backlit red, me, 2013
long exposure/open shutter photograph (all in camera except for contrast/dodge/burns)
on the way to an appointment i was dreading yesterday I tried to focus on other things and decided to take a random way there.
I found some really nice locations that I want to go back to and photograph.
One thing I’ve started doing on occasion is to take a still pic of a location or situation that might be fleeting and then put it up on my TV or a monitor at home and then do a long exposure on that.
I didn’t even think twice about it, taking a picture of a picture is pretty meta anyways and i largely don’t give a shit about color shifts, off angles or proper photographer.
I do what I need to get what I want (art-wise at least) with the least amount of fuss and fuckery.
nothing has helped me clear away the bullshit and extraneous things in my life like adversity.
i found out, confirmed rather, what’s important to me.
the volume on everything else has been turned down and often reduced to background static.
focus on your priorities and what’s important to you and fuck everything else.
Never again will I feel like organizing the files on my laptop is frivolous.
I’ve spent the last two hours categorizing my photos and projects into folder and sub-folders and got a bit stuck on whether some of the top level categories were workable.
Bothering me in particular were the two folders, objects and things. What counts as an ‘object’ and what counts as a ‘thing’? I thought what I’d done with my sub-groupings made sense but on a whim I Googled ‘object vs. thing’ and near the top of my search results Heidegger popped up (whose works I’ve read before).
I clicked over to Wikipedia and start reading the specific page on his terminology. Went back to my folder structures… perfect classification.
This is a good thing.
Kept working even though I didn’t like what I was making.
Liking my work is pretty irrelevant but distracting.
Am I working?
Is it honest?
Is it building on what I did previously in some way, shape or form?
‘Should’ needs to be stricken from my vocabulary.
should be this.
should have done this.
should have done that.
I’ve gone back to self portraits via surrogate & proxy. It’s enough of a disconnect to allow me to work… I know that it’s about me but for some reason it’s enough of a cutoff so that I don’t react emotionally and can actually create.
Currently having my brain twisted around by Umberto Eco’s ‘Travels in Hyper Reality’ and loving it.
Also reading a fairly fluffy book on Saatchi’s YBA’s. Decent pix and overview of the work but that’s about it…
Really liking John Hilliard’s photography right now… research mode kicking in…